The BEST Bush-isms
January 14th, 2007 by Eric
I was surfing the internet the other day for bushisms, and these totally cracked me up. Enjoy, and stay clear of the internet’s “dark dungeons”! 
“Do you have blacks, too?”—To Brazilian President Fernando Cardoso, Washington, D.C., Nov. 8, 2001
“[A]s you know, these are open forums, you’re able to come and listen to what I have to say.”—Washington, D.C., Oct. 28, 2003
“I was a prisoner too, but for bad reasons.”—To Argentine President Nestor Kirchner, on being told that all but one of the Argentine delegates to a summit meeting were imprisoned during the military dictatorship, Monterrey, Mexico, Jan. 13, 2004
“And so, in my State of the—my State of the Union—or state—my speech to the nation, whatever you want to call it, speech to the nation—I asked Americans to give 4,000 years—4,000 hours over the next—the rest of your life—of service to America. That’s what I asked—4,000 hours.” —Bridgeport, Conn., April 9, 2002
“It would be a mistake for the United States Senate to allow any kind of human cloning to come out of that chamber.”—Washington, D.C., April 10, 2002
“For every fatal shooting, there were roughly three non-fatal shootings. And, folks, this is unacceptable in America. It’s just unacceptable. And we’re going to do something about it.”—Philadelphia, May 14, 2001 (Thanks to John Brooks.)
“There’s no question that the minute I got elected, the storm clouds on the horizon were getting nearly directly overhead.”—Washington, D.C., May 11, 2001
“We’re concerned about AIDS inside our White House—make no mistake about it.”—Washington, D.C., Feb. 7, 2001
“I’m hopeful. I know there is a lot of ambition in Washington, obviously. But I hope the ambitious realize that they are more likely to succeed with success as opposed to failure.”—Interview with the Associated Press, Jan. 18, 2001
“I would have to ask the questioner. I haven’t had a chance to ask the questioners the question they’ve been questioning. On the other hand, I firmly believe she’ll be a fine secretary of labor. And I’ve got confidence in Linda Chavez. She is a—she’ll bring an interesting perspective to the Labor Department.”—Austin, Texas, Jan. 8, 2001
“Natural gas is hemispheric. I like to call it hemispheric in nature because it is a product that we can find in our neighborhoods.”—Austin, Texas, Dec. 20, 2000
“It’s important for us to explain to our nation that life is important. It’s not only life of babies, but it’s life of children living in, you know, the dark dungeons of the Internet.”—Arlington Heights, Ill., Oct. 24, 2000
“Drug therapies are replacing a lot of medicines as we used to know it.”
“Mr. Vice President, in all due respect, it is—I’m not sure 80 percent of the people get the death tax. I know this: 100 percent will get it if I’m the president.”
“If affirmative action means what I just described, what I’m for, then I’m for it.”—St. Louis, Mo., October 18, 2000
“I think if you know what you believe, it makes it a lot easier to answer questions. I can’t answer your question.”—In response to a question about whether he wished he could take back any of his answers in the first debate. Reynoldsburg, Ohio, Oct. 4, 2000 (Thanks to Peter Feld.)
“This is a world that is much more uncertain than the past. In the past we were certain, we were certain it was us versus the Russians in the past. We were certain, and therefore we had huge nuclear arsenals aimed at each other to keep the peace. That’s what we were certain of. … You see, even though it’s an uncertain world, we’re certain of some things. We’re certain that even though the ‘evil empire’ may have passed, evil still remains. We’re certain there are people that can’t stand what America stands for. … We’re certain there are madmen in this world, and there’s terror, and there’s missiles and I’m certain of this, too: I’m certain to maintain the peace, we better have a military of high morale, and I’m certain that under this administration, morale in the military is dangerously low.”—Albuquerque, N.M., the Washington Post, May 31, 2000
“Will the highways on the Internet become more few?”—Concord, N.H., Jan. 29, 2000
“When I was coming up, it was a dangerous world, and you knew exactly who they were. It was us vs. them, and it was clear who them was. Today, we are not so sure who the they are, but we know they’re there.”—Iowa Western Community College, Jan 21, 2000
“Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?”—Florence, S.C., Jan. 11, 2000
“Keep good relations with the Grecians.”—Quoted in the Economist, June 12, 1999